GFFA Hums Iella Scribbles by Diana [Based on Milne's The King's Breakfast] Wedding Plans (A dramatic kind of poem written for frustrated princes.) The Prince asked The Aide and The Aide asked The Courtier: "Help me find a wife That my Mother won't want dead." The Aide asked The Courtier, The Courtier Thought gloomily: I'd better See the old Cow, Or she'll go off her head. The Courtier He grimaced, Then went and found Ta'a Chume: "The Prince seeks a pretty girl To grace his marriage bed." Ta'a Chume Said sweetly: "You'd better tell The Chume'da That many people nowadays Choose abstinence Instead." The Courtier Said, "Uh oh!" And went to The Aid-de-camp. He shuffled his feet, and He turned beetroot red: "Ta'a Chume opines that Bachelorhood Is better, Maybe the Chume'da Should buy A single Bed." The Aide said, "Gah!" And went to Prince Isolder: "Speaking of a woman that Your mother won't want dead, Many people Think that Celibacy Is safer. How about becoming A Sunesi Instead?" The Prince said, "Horrors!" And then he moaned, "Oh woe is me! The Prince groaned, "Celibacy!" And whacked the Aide's head: "Nobody Could ever Doubt I'm a real man! All I want's A wife who won't Make Mother See red!" The Aide said, "Yeouch!" And hurried to The Courtier. The Courtier Said, "Wow! What a Huge bump on your head!" The Queen said, "Ha, ha! I had you going That time. Here are the women Who've been suitably bred." The Aide took The holos And brought them to The Chume'da. The latter said, "Women! Yay!" And bounced on his bed. "Some men," he said, "Like the docile Tender ones. Some men," he said, "Like the sweet and Slender ones. But I, My friend, Like to live Life dangerously — SO "I'm going to choose the Alderaanian instead!" [Based on Missing] Grand Theft Speeder (A frustrated kind of poem made by a confused minor bureaucrat who was visiting 500 Republica on night "business.") Has anybody seen my speeder I popped away for less than a minute Just to check the parking limit, And no sooner had I turned my back, The damn thing disappeared! Like that! It's the latest model T-type two-seater. Has anyone seen my speeder? 'Scuse me, sir, have you seen my speeder? It's a yellow one; the spec reckons Zero to max in seven seconds — So it's probably already past the fountains And halfway to the Menari Mountains! It must be somewhere. I'll ask that Dug. Er, on second thoughts — no. He'll think I'm a mug. Oh this is a pain — And it's starting to rain ... Hasn't anybody seen my speeder? [Based on Bad Sir Brian Botany] Malevolent Master Maul (A what-comes-around-goes-around kind of poem made by a moralistic reader under the influence of Monty Python.) Darth Maul had a lightsaber with two great blades on; He'd really wanted purple, but his master ordered red. Although he tried to deal with it, it made him throw a hissy fit. He raged around the Palace, and this is what he said: "I am Darth Maul!" (snap-hiss) "I am Darth Maul!" (ker-splat) "I'm a Knight of Ni, and I want a shrubbery — Take that! —and that! —and that!" Darth Maul had a swoop bike with CVIs on, A present from his mum for passing Sith101. On Coruscant and Dantooine, and on the sands of Tatooine, He'd zoom around the populace and zap them just for fun. "I am Darth Maul!" (ping-ping) "I am Darth Maul!" (got one!) "I am Darth Maul and I'm having a ball — And I fart in your general direction!" Darth Maul went a journey and met his nemesis; He rather went to pieces on distant Naboo. The funeral unfortunately quite confused his family, For Maul's plot was allotted not just one hole — but two. "Never do things by halves! Remember to keep your head. And Knights of Ni — stay in your shrubbery! Or, like Maul, you'll end up dead!" Disclaimer: All content is made up, and no profit or lucre is expected, solicited, advocated or paid. This is all just for fun. Any comments, please e-mail the author or WOOKIEEhut directly. Flames will be ignored. Characters and situations are based on those which are the property of LucasFilms Ltd., Bantam Publishing, Random House, and their respective original owners and developers. The rest is this story's author's own fault. This story may not be posted anywhere without the author's knowledge, consent, and permission. This story is presented by Wookieehut.com.