Wookiee Hut Cuisine presents: Jag's Hot Rump Sandwich by SuSu, Iella When you are an ace pilot with alien loyalties and upbringing, and you are vying for the affection of another ace pilot with royal heritage (both in the high- and low-falutin' senses), you'd better have something extra to win the girl. Or so Jag Fel concluded when he realized that Zekk and Kyp Durron were after Jaina Solo, too. And she was showing interest! The key to any girl's heart? Good food! That's what Jag's mother had told her son about how Soontir Fel had managed to catch her, the famous holostar. The senior Fel didn't have much to offer, other than his fame as the Empire's ace, and his deep devotion; in fact, Syal Antilles didn't want to marry him, for her brother was the Alliance ace, and she knew she may find herself hating her brother for killing her husband, or the other way 'round. But she finally relented, and Jag's mother spoke affectionately of the Corellian farmboy's affection for food and his ability to raise anything. Now that Jag was "of age," he started to understand how powerful the draw of good food was for his formerly famous glamor-queen mother. He re-created this very masculine meat and gravy sandwich for Jaina, but made it lighter by using turkey instead of the traditional male rump roast of his upbringing. He also used half the bread, so Jaina wouldn't get too full, too fast. He decided to use a gravy perfumed with bacon, mushrooms and milk to draw her to the table. Finally, he made it messy to eat, so that she'd be forced to sit and linger with him. And the longer she sat and shared a meal with him, the better his chances to win her! So, when Jaina admired his "rump" when she made her choice of paramours, it wasn't necessarily the one behind Jag she was talking about — it was likely the sandwich he created, just for her! Bacon Mushroom Cheese Gravy 8 slices of bacon 1 tablespoon butter 12 oz / 335 g white mushrooms, sliced 1 tablespoon flour 1 cup milk, warmed 1½ cups grated cheddar or parmesan cheese Cut the bacon slices in half and lay them out in a cold frying pan. Place over medium-low heat with a cover over it. Cook without fussing with it, till the bacon is crisp. Remove the bacon to a plate or rack and set it aside for sandwich assembly. Into the hot bacon fat, add the butter, then cook the mushrooms till they are soft and limp. Remove the mushrooms to a bowl, but leave the fat in the pan. Sprinkle it all over with the flour. You'll need to stir with a whisk to avoid lumps, and don't burn the flour as you cook it. When it smells "nutty" and browns slightly, carefully whisk in the milk a quarter-cup at a time. You'll get a smooth, thick gravy. Add grated cheese and stir to melt it into the sauce. Add the mushrooms back into the sauce and stir. Set the gravy aside. Hot Rump Sandwich — assembly 4 slices of toast bread (this usually means its cut thicker, and you can use any type) 1 tomato, sliced thinly sliced meat roast: turkey or roast beef or chicken or steak or pork (leftovers are great), enough for 4 sandwiches Bacon Mushroom Cheese Gravy 8 cooked slices of bacon You will be broiling these sandwiches in the plate you serve it on, so be sure the plates you have are heat-proof. It would be better if the dish had a "lip" on it — it's a messy dish and the gravy will pour out onto the plate. For each sandwich, place a piece of bread on the bottom, then top with tomato and sliced meat. Ladle a quarter of the gravy onto each sandwich. Top with four half-slices of bacon for each sandwich. If you wish, you can garnish with a slice or scattering of grated cheese. Put the whole dish under the broiler and cook till the top is speckly-browned and starting to get crusty and bubbly. Serve immediately with a knife and fork, and maybe extra bread for sopping up the extra gravy. Makes 4 open-faced sandwiches. VARIATION: For big eaters (or maybe to force your paramour to share a plate with you), put two slices of bread on a big plate or small platter, and assemble the sandwich with twice the ingredients, and serve. Disclaimer: All content is made up, and no profit or lucre is expected, solicited, advocated or paid. This is all just for fun. Any comments, please e-mail the author or WOOKIEEhut directly. Flames will be ignored. Characters and situations are based on those which are the property of their respective original owners and developers. This story may not be posted anywhere without the author's knowledge, consent, and permission. This recipe is provided "as is," and neither Wookieehut nor any person associated with the website is responsible for any success or failure of the recipe, nor any implied effects. If there are questions, please email the author.